what would your dad think?
My mother and I had the "are you gay?" talk today... again. Every now and again she will ask me questions about my sexuality and then not touch it ever again unless she is concerned about something. I ernestly believe that ignorance is bliss. Most people are happy when they don't know that something is "wrong." Thusly, I think it is sufficent that my mother know the basics when it comes to my sex life. I like men. Sadly, however, she seems to love the "torture" of knowing the intimate details. I can understand her concern for my safety considering the "dangers of gay sex," but honestly she should know that I am not going to do anything stupid.
Last night Chantaé gave me an unlubricated condom that she didn't want and later that night we went to Wal*Mart so should could buy another box of condoms. While I was there I decided to do some shopping of my own. I bought some lube because Shane and I were messing around and would have ended up having sex if we'd had the propper tools around. I also bought a white polo from the kids section and modified it with some spray paint when I got home. [It's amazing if I say so myself.]
Anyway, Mum found the lube box in the trash today and felt the need to question me. She said that it was sad that she and my father, a heterosexual couple, could have two children, both of whom "turn out to be gay." [While I don't believe that homosexuality is genetic, despite the evidence my sister and I might claim to pose, I do believe that one's sexuality is determined at birth.] So she's there acting as if our sexuality is some curse happening to her. I'd never thought of my mother as selfish, but it all came out in that moment. It was disgusting. She may not have grandchildren or official in-laws, but is it the end of the world? She also said that I must be ashamed of who I am because I'm not some nelly fag yelling "I'm here, I'm queer!!" from the rooftops. I am very comfortable with who I am, though I will admit to having gone through the bisexual phase simply because that label was more comforting in such a homophobic society. [God, I have to leave the South!] So, she said whenever we'd previously talked about my sexuality she walked away confused, but as I said before: ignorance is bliss. I don't want to hurt my homophobic family so I don't tell them. They're happy and I would be happy whether then knew or not.
Last night Chantaé gave me an unlubricated condom that she didn't want and later that night we went to Wal*Mart so should could buy another box of condoms. While I was there I decided to do some shopping of my own. I bought some lube because Shane and I were messing around and would have ended up having sex if we'd had the propper tools around. I also bought a white polo from the kids section and modified it with some spray paint when I got home. [It's amazing if I say so myself.]
Anyway, Mum found the lube box in the trash today and felt the need to question me. She said that it was sad that she and my father, a heterosexual couple, could have two children, both of whom "turn out to be gay." [While I don't believe that homosexuality is genetic, despite the evidence my sister and I might claim to pose, I do believe that one's sexuality is determined at birth.] So she's there acting as if our sexuality is some curse happening to her. I'd never thought of my mother as selfish, but it all came out in that moment. It was disgusting. She may not have grandchildren or official in-laws, but is it the end of the world? She also said that I must be ashamed of who I am because I'm not some nelly fag yelling "I'm here, I'm queer!!" from the rooftops. I am very comfortable with who I am, though I will admit to having gone through the bisexual phase simply because that label was more comforting in such a homophobic society. [God, I have to leave the South!] So, she said whenever we'd previously talked about my sexuality she walked away confused, but as I said before: ignorance is bliss. I don't want to hurt my homophobic family so I don't tell them. They're happy and I would be happy whether then knew or not.
posted by Dani Boi at 9:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home